sickness

blah i feel sick

Blahness Fo Sho

Being Depressed sucks! Moms going to get me my pills tomarrow...or well later today cuz it's 12:29 AM...Looking forward in a week when ill be able to atleast pretind that im happy...

So Weird

Recently Mackenzie Phillips has come out with her relationship with her father. I was watching her on Oprah and was thinking "where do I know her from?" So i turn to my mom and ask "hey momma did she play the mom on "So weird?" and she said no...i say her again and was like she HAS to be the mom on "So Weird" so i look up "So Weird" on imdb and what do I know... It was her. so I'm like i wanna watch so weird now. So i got on youtube and start watching so weird.

i don't know about you but i have this thing where i have to look at the comments...IT PISSED ME OFF!! one comment was "insets" why do that... why... its so naive and rude!

but back to the point. I miss the 1991 generation kids Disney channel. the shows were real. now it stupid shit like "as the bell rings" and "JONAS" and other stupid show like that. what happened to "So Weird" and "Lizzie McGuire"...OK Lizzie McGuire was i cool show...even though i really dis like Hilary duff.

and as i grew up i moved from the Disney channel to "the-n" that was a kick ass channel! no commercials just music videos and kick ass teen shows...now no music videos and a degrassi that sux! what happened to the old degrassi?! or "R.F.R.(Radio Free Rosco" or "My So-Called life"??? thoughts show were AWSOME!

LayLayLater

Lexa

LayLayLexa Update

So lets start from.......lets say yesterday.......

Sep. 20Th 2009

all i know is i was happy till i found my phone and needed to charge it. so i went over to where the chargers are...not charger... ok ok SO u ask my mom for hers....doesn't fit...ok by now im getting text fever i wanna text...i wanna update my twitter from my phone and blog from my phone...so im like hmmmmm and we my brother has the same charger as me so i go and ask...he said no because i never do anything for him.... her never does anything for me so why would i do something for him and and he never asked...hello i have changed i would do something (within reason) from him he just assumes that i wouldn't do it so never asks... well the mother fucker is a shit and i go off wanting to kill myself because he doesn't trust me and believe me...so i lock myself in a room and put myself in-front of it so no one can get in (they broke the door trying to get in) and so i go to dinner all like (ok this is my thought process)

i don't wanna be here everybody is mad at me for what i just did.....this play is loud......make your fucking kid shut the fuck up or i will......why would you bring kids to a restaurant????!!!!?????.....o god they are playing gospel music.....i don't want to listen to this shit......dont look at your family they hate you.....should have killed yourself.....stupid Ian telling me not to..........your stupid.......shut that fucking kid up.....my head hurts......this food doesn't taste good......well not going to order this again.....why does the freaky waitress keep touching my shoulder.....WOW stop rubbing my back.....hooker.......i feel sick....nobody is eating can we go home now?.......rush to the car


yup and FYI i told Ian to tell me i dint want to kill myself and he was such a sweety he texted me back saying "you don't *hug* their is so much in life to enjoy" after i text him :tell me i don't want to kill myself" i was just in a bad mood.... so i came home and took a hot Hexol bath.

i always feel better after taking a Hexol bath. the sent is so relaxing. it makes hot water feel like magick and i just love it!

Sep. 20 2009

got my phone charged got a crab and a fish...played on myspace...thats about it...

LayLayLater

Lexa

HUNGER

im sooo hunger in like hiccuping bile! nasty... i wanna go back to sleep.....but i dont.....my ass is killing me!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! so. board. so. hungry. so. idk...


lol so my brother showed me "the guild" music video so i started watching the show....now addictid and playing fiesta its kinda like WOW

LayLayLater

Lexa

addicting i say gerrness ger i say

Watching dexter for the third time...im so addictid and im now addictid to the youtube show the guild...stipiid adicting shows....why muct you beed soooo

Good my dad is rudeness much....Playing loud music wile in watching scooby doo the beggining

When im watching a good movie i go into a freggen movie trance

Just finnished seson one of dexter in two nights now i have to get seson two and three and watch dexter...good shows are too much work

I love post rair air mmm laylaylexa via phone

Ghost person it out side

What I Feel When Im Off My Meds

i feel like shit...i feel ugly...i feel worthless...i have no worth in the world...i feel lost and destroyed...i feel like I'm never going to be attractive just the cow i am...i can never do things right i can never belong...i an a ghost in the human world...just looming and pretending to be happy... even when i an happy its not real...just a disque...just a stupid mask on the outside.....nothing can fix me nothing can heal what i destroyed in my life now I'm stuck inside dark cloud that i cant breath in... I'm withering away breath by breath... nobody knows.... i never show.... i cant talk...I'm stuck in tears.........ugly.......wothless...in agony of my own body...this is who i am...the truth...no lies... just me......surrounded in a darkness that is my sole...i destroyed it so many years ago...not seeing what i have done...now i will never be what i once was...a happy attractive young innocent girl...a stupid fool...for putting myself in this hell I'm in...the hell I'm trapped in... my darkness...my pain that I'm tormented with every second i remember I'm still alive...now you know... how i have to hide from everything i am and show a lie...a fate girl...someone you believe is real...i do this for you and cut her out of my body at then end of the day...watch her blood drain from my skin...the darkness slipping back into me...this is what i am...an empty shell destroyed by myself...i cant feel anything but my pain and her lies i tell her to tell you... when I'm alone i wither into myself and transform into my ghostly self that i hate... i cant tell you the agony i feel... and you can imagine...I'm sorry for the lies you know me for...but i did it for you

Poor Fat Man and Ghost Person

Ok so im watching Conan O'Brien and he stated that a 350lb man...more or less... got rejected from a airflight cairyer because he was too fat...Poor fat man...i too got rejecter for being to fat...of couse im not as fat as you and it was a ride...but it goes up in the air and spins you and then as my step dad says "pees on you"... poor fat man i know how you feel.

**do not worrie said fat man got to where he was getten to rile being rejected by going by gray hound.

earlyer i was going to post via my phone this is what it said

"list of artists i like
avril lavigne
ok nvm i think somebody is outside of my window...hmmm should i be scair or friendly to this ghost person....i cant see this said person...so can...i have a really ugly bug on my tv...its gone and idk wehre it went...Ok can this ghost person see me? Do i know have a peeping tom on my hands...hmmm that said ghost has ether left or it standingtheir watching me. Im not scaird. I kinda would like to meat this ghost...ahhh bug up in my face!!! its that its that freaky lookin one that was on my tv... laylaylexa via phone ill post most more on ghost person"

Hahahaha my dad it talking to a tv show...it is quit amusing

Im going to have too much fun blogging from my phone i just know it lol laylaylexa via phone

Yay so i finnaly go a my phone and mp3 back and running today extra happy and had a good day today! Laylaylexa via her phone

New Painting

So i just did another painting painting today. It kinda grundgey looking and has mixed colors in it...very dark and cool looking. i had to do it on the back on a painting that my uncle has done...but i love it. im eating dinner and have green paint on my hand...

i also played with kwil seal today and was fun and made a mess! lol...i had a monster of a moth in my room laast night and so i did tis to hopfully keep them buggers out!

LayLayLater

Lexa!!

Forums

Ok so i have a forum on forumation...Role Players Anonymous A.K.A. RPA. It's gitting really annoying because it goes down like every week! So if anyone knows a better forum hostage then e-mail me at Lexa.Turos@gmail.com and also if you wanna goin RPA it has lots of RP sections to RP on and also age groups to RP on RPA so its a fun fun RP site also had a chat box. http://rpersanonymous.bestofforum.net/forum.htm .

LayLayLater

Lexa!!

Sun Burns

Ok so i smelt the most amazing perfume 3 nights ago...its Black Star by Avril Lavigne. The fragrance notes feature pink hibiscus, black plum and dark chocolate...i love it my mother loves it....even my grandma loves it!! haha. i really would love love love to buy it, but its like a lot of money...like 20-35 $$$. So my sunburn is really really hurting me.

LayLayLater!!

Lexa

MOST. AMAZING. DAY. EVER!

Ok so today we went to the state fair...again...but this time i didnt get sick and over heated and and dehydrated and and and and i rode almost all the rides including one MJ ride. It was soooo fun the only thing that sux id im as red as a tomato...not kidding...

Me and my sister ju went on "The Drop" it takes you up about 70 ft. - 100 ft. the just drops you. You LEAVE you fucking SEAT!!!

We also went on the magnam...

I also got my turky leg!!! (brother on right)

and took a "drive"...cute pic anyway!

I Take In Pain

I Take in Pain From Your Heart.
From That Part Of You That Throbs.
I Save Your Weepings And Long Sobs,
And Fill It With Warmth And Ease.

Nobody Knows You Like I.
I Know How You Hide Your Cries.
Nothing But This Can Fix Your Sorrows.
And Tomorrow You Will No longer Have To Disguise.

From The East I Ask Of Air.
To Come Into My Circle.
Make His Pain Disappear.
Fill The Loss With Focus And Ease.

From The South I Ask Of Fire.
To Come Into My Circle.
Make His Pain Melt Away.
Fill The Loss With Energy And Strength

From The West I Ask Of Water.
To Come Into My Circle.
Cleanse His Body Of Pain.
Fill The Loss With His Pasts Reflections And Emotional Release.

From The North I Ask OF Earth.
To Come Into My Circle.
Quake Away His Pain.
Fill In The Loss With Nourishment And Foundation.

I Call On My Own Spirit.
To Fill My Circle.
Replace Mine With His.
To Take is Pain.

Blood To Blood.
Whats Mine Is His,
And Whats His Is Mine.
Release His Pain And Stoke Into Me.

So Mote It Be!

A List Of 10 Resons Why Girls Wish They Were Guys

1. dont have to worrie about how you look
2. dont have to shave
3. dont have to dress up
4. dont have to where mini dipers and/or sticck a cotton stick up your vag.
5. doesnt have to work hard to masterbate
6. dont have P.M.S.
7. dont get minstral cramps
8. dont have to worrie about emberissing snoring
9. dont have to carie a a oerson inside of your body
10. dont have to push that watermelon sized person out of your 3" vag.

About La LayLayLexas Name

My real name is Cortney. You all know that i am a RP addict. I joined a RP called Darkness Within as one of the main characters named Alexandra Turos. The Person who started it was a stranger to me and we bonded thanks to the RP. I had never asked for her name, so i just called her Lilly. Why Lilly? Because; her name in the RP was Lillian Estelle and Alexandra (me) called her Lilly for short. We both bonded calling each other Lilly and Alexandra. Well when one of us signed onto MSN the first to im the other would say the other persons "name" in all caps. Alexandra was to long so she shortened it to Lexa.

The LayLay before Lexa is...I do admit a copy from MeMeMolly. She is a big Blogger and Vlogger, And an AMAZING person!

LayLayLater

Lexa!!

DUGGER NEWS

The Dugger Family Is Exspecting their 19th kid and 1st grandbaby!

Hair Update

Ok so i went to the Dr. today and now i have to still use the baby shampoo AND take vitamins. :( BUT BUT BUT the vita. are also are a dietary supplements! so yayness on that fact!