Ok so the last few days have been a trip! So all of you know that Kaitlyn is having a baby girl named Alice. Well I don't know if I ever told all of you that the father of the baby (I will explain why. Am calling her "the baby" now in a few) hates me. He hates me because I wwanted to cut one night wile I was spinding the night at kaitlyns house. Because I wanted to cut I told her that she can cit too. He hates me cuz I let her cut. This was over a year and a half ago. Well two or three days ago kaitlyns boyfriend told my brother that I will never see the baby and if I ever do see the baby he will leave Kaitlyn and go licve with one of his other baby mamas. Well after curling into a ball and blowing snot balls out of my noes and a flood poring out of my eyes I desired to kill my self (the fact that I am wwriti f this is a sigh that I did follow throgh with it.) to make kaitlyns life better. The pain of not seeing the baby hurt so bad and the hurt that I felt about Kaitlyn beening the next thing I will never see hurt even more I couldn't breath. I went numb after kaitlyn convinsed me not to kill myself and kinda went catatonic, but after a hexol bath and a good scrubbing I fell lest catatonic. Well after Kaitlyn and myself got in a big ass fight about the said boyfriend saying or not saying that he will go live with one of his other baby mamas and her calling my brother. Liyer ( btw why the fuck would he lie about this... He gets nothing out of it) I stopes being her friend, but you know what... I'm not upset even the slitest. I realized That it is what's best for me nd for her. Her: she doesn't have to be in the middle of me nd the boyfriend anymore. Me: I Dont have to deal with all the stress anymore. ( not to me calling Alice "the baby" now) well I don't feel the need to call her by her name anymore.
well what does all of this have to do with the tittle? Well I might be moving all by my lonsome ( with 1-7 roomates) to sacramento. Why? Because job corps is their and everything is free! I get my H.S. Deploma, 3 meals, room and board, and culinary arts (hands of) classes all for free! Oh... And I get payed every two weeks, but like a job taxes jet taken from it. $25 ( before the tax deduction) every two weeks is a whole lot of money when you don't have to pay for anything, and as I progress the money numbers go up! So tuesday I got for my tour and hopefully get in!
yes this is my first time ever living away from my parents (a hour away from momma and a hour and a half from my dad) and I am nurvous... But ... I want to go ... No I don't I NEED to go! This is what I need! To be away from everyone and everything. So I'll Post after the tour!
LayLayLater
Lexa
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