Looks Like A Lie

so the "sprung" wasnt over me... i didnt think it was. he said that he wasnted to be single for a wile/// he said that yesterday... and today his statuse is "in a re;ationship" yeah ok what ever. so i de friended him. he so fucking stupid!

whatever i had my pondering moment about him and now im over it.

i hurd from job corps... i cant get my papers filed untill i do some things but im working on doing that so i can ake another app with my councaler.

so new with me? i chopped my hair off! haha well I didnt do it i went to supercuts and had it dont. i love long hair on me and thats whats funny! cuz i love how my hair is!!! ill take and posts pics tomarrow!!

LayLayLater

Lexa

updates

so i havent blogged in a wile... my live has just been... all over.

so the wensday or whatever day my interview was on i text a random guy that wanted to be my friend on a daiting site. so i text him... we made planes to go on a date that friday... we were sapose to be going slow but we ended up making out and doing some touching for an hour infront of my house at 2 in the morning. we started saying i love you after that and then we just hung out everyday... we were talking about moving in together, kids, marage... we were both in love with eachother.

about... 4 days after our first date he told me that we were going way to fast and we broke up.

i went ff my meds... and did something bad that none of my family knows about.

well its been a week sence we spit... and today on his myspace says he is sprung... but i really dont think its over me... and it hurts... i just want to go into the bathroom and break open a razor and slit my wrists... i know its stupid! i really do! i dont know why im so hard fallen with him...

i still haent hurd from job corps.. and im starting to worrie...

lexa...

Amazing!!

Ok so I don't know yet if Im accespted yet, but tomarrow I take in my application and have and interveiw. I got some more info. Today as well. So in my last post I tink I said I get $20 bucks a every other week totaling in $40 a month. Well it's not $20... It's $30... Totaling in $60 a month! And when I don't have to buy anything but soap, shampoo and condishaner, londry stuff... That's a lot of money! But even better it increeses! They have this tittle. You start out as alomanem ( I do not know how to spell it haha )And you go all the way up to gold. So as an alomanem tittle I ge to have 8 off campus for for every two months, a 10:00 pm curfeue, $30 bi-weekly,and I think that's it... Well all I can remember. But as I show them I'm doing good and dizerve it I'll go up and ge more stufflike more passes and more money and the curfue gets pushed back. But the reality is... I'm going to be passed out by 10 so I don't need it haha.

So tomarrow I turn in the application and do my interveiw. And I'll post more tomarrow!

LayLayLater

Lexa

School girl once more?

Ok so the last few days have been a trip! So all of you know that Kaitlyn is having a baby girl named Alice. Well I don't know if I ever told all of you that the father of the baby (I will explain why. Am calling her "the baby" now in a few) hates me. He hates me because I wwanted to cut one night wile I was spinding the night at kaitlyns house. Because I wanted to cut I told her that she can cit too. He hates me cuz I let her cut. This was over a year and a half ago. Well two or three days ago kaitlyns boyfriend told my brother that I will never see the baby and if I ever do see the baby he will leave Kaitlyn and go licve with one of his other baby mamas. Well after curling into a ball and blowing snot balls out of my noes and a flood poring out of my eyes I desired to kill my self (the fact that I am wwriti f this is a sigh that I did follow throgh with it.) to make kaitlyns life better. The pain of not seeing the baby hurt so bad and the hurt that I felt about Kaitlyn beening the next thing I will never see hurt even more I couldn't breath. I went numb after kaitlyn convinsed me not to kill myself and kinda went catatonic, but after a hexol bath and a good scrubbing I fell lest catatonic. Well after Kaitlyn and myself got in a big ass fight about the said boyfriend saying or not saying that he will go live with one of his other baby mamas and her calling my brother. Liyer ( btw why the fuck would he lie about this... He gets nothing out of it) I stopes being her friend, but you know what... I'm not upset even the slitest. I realized That it is what's best for me nd for her. Her: she doesn't have to be in the middle of me nd the boyfriend anymore. Me: I Dont have to deal with all the stress anymore. ( not to me calling Alice "the baby" now) well I don't feel the need to call her by her name anymore.

well what does all of this have to do with the tittle? Well I might be moving all by my lonsome ( with 1-7 roomates) to sacramento. Why? Because job corps is their and everything is free! I get my H.S. Deploma, 3 meals, room and board, and culinary arts (hands of) classes all for free! Oh... And I get payed every two weeks, but like a job taxes jet taken from it. $25 ( before the tax deduction) every two weeks is a whole lot of money when you don't have to pay for anything, and as I progress the money numbers go up! So tuesday I got for my tour and hopefully get in!

yes this is my first time ever living away from my parents (a hour away from momma and a hour and a half from my dad) and I am nurvous... But ... I want to go ... No I don't I NEED to go! This is what I need! To be away from everyone and everything. So I'll Post after the tour!

LayLayLater

Lexa